Bambanci Sha'awa Da Soyayya Part 8

So ko qauna in dai za a sami musayarsu a tsakanin juna sun zama soyayya kenan, wannan ba baqon abu ba ne a wurin kowa, don haka dai mutum ya fara tunanin wace iriyar soyayya zai yi? Kuma da wa zai yi? Tabbatacciyar soyayya daban take da kowace iriyar soyayya, don ita akan nemi yardar Allah ne a ciki, ba wai wani amfani da mutum zai samu ba, a taqaice dai tabbatacciyar soyayya takan kasu kashi uku, duk yadda aka rasa daya to ba ta cika kamar yadda ya kamata a kira ta, kuma masu yin ta ko sun nuna suna jin dadi akwai matsala, ta nan take ko a bayan wani lokaci kadan.
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1) Abu na farko dai ya kasance ana neman yardar Allah ne a ciki, mutum ya tambayi zuciyarsa dalilin da ya sa yake son ya kusanci jinsin da ba na sa, da irin yadda yake son kusantar ta kasance, in ya kasance akwai saba wa shari'ar Allah, to ya san cewa akwai matsala a tafiyar, ba yadda za ka saba wa Allah kuma ka ci nasara a lamarin da kake so, kenan yaudara ba ta da amfani, kar mutum ya kusanci wani jinsi bayan yana da tabbacin ba zai iya rayuwa da shi ba, yin haka yaudara ne.
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2) Sannan yardar mutane, wannan yana da matuqar mahimmanci a rayuwarmu ta yau, masamman musulmi, kafin wani ya fara magana da mace ya tabbatar uwayensa za su ba shi damar shaquwa da ita, sau da yawa samari sukan yi kuskure, ba sa tuntubar mahaifansu sai sun gama qulla soyayyarsu gaba daya, in ta zo da matsala kuma uwayen na su su qi amince musu, sai ka ga soyayyar ta shiga watangariri, a qarshe a bar yarinyar da kuka, wata qila ma ta wulaqanta wani da yake mutuwar qaunarta sabo da wannan, ga shi shi ma zai bar ta wai zai bi abin da uwayensa suka ce.
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A zahirin gaskiya duk wani da na gari dole ya ji maganar mahaifansa, kuskuren na bangarorin ne guda biyu, me ya sa bai nemi yardar mahaifansa ba kafin ya fara maganarta? Wani lokacin ma ba daga wurinsa ba ne, daga wurin mahaifan yarinyar ne, sai ta gama shaquwa da shi su ce ba su yarda ba, a nan neman yardar kowa tabbas wajibi ne, a ganina har qawaye da abokai akwai buqatar gamsar da su in dai ana son abu ya yi kyau, saurayi ya gamsar da su cewa ita ta kirki ce, kuma su gani a aikace, ita ma ta gamsar da qawayenta, shi kuma ya yi qoqarin ganin bai kunyata ta ba.
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3) Sai kuma neman yardar kai: Wato dai mutum ya gamsar da kansa cewa tabbas wance ta dace da rayuwata, ya kamata muhadu a matsayin jiki daya wajen gina zuriya ta qwarai, wannnan ba abu ne da za a yi shi a dan lokaci ba, don mutum yana da buqatar bincike mai zurfi a kankansa, ta wurin gamsar da kansa kan cewa wace ya gani ta dace da shi a tsarin halitta, kala, iya wanka, dabi'u, ilimi da zamantakewa gami da fahimtar juna, gaggawar duba abu daya kawai takan kai mutum ga nadama.
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Duk yadda mace ta kai da riqo da addini, ko shahara a wurin musabaqar Al'Qur'ani in dai ka ga a dabi'ance ko surance ba ta yi maka ba, to na fi ba ka shawarar ka dan saurara har sai ka sami mai addinin da za ta yi maka, kuma ta gamsar da kar abin da kake nema, wannan don samun tabbatacciyar soyayya ne mai dorewa, in ba don haka ba Annabi ba zai ba sahabinsa shawarar ya je ya ga matar da farko ba.
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Da wannan nake ganin ita ma abokiyar soyayyar akwai buqatar ta gamsu da saurayin, koda yake mata qaramin dalili yakan gamsar da su su amince da namiji, kuma su so shi so na gaskiya, na ga wata Baturiya 'yar kasar Sweden da ta auri wani dan Sudan ta haifa masa 'ya'ya shida, kuma ta bar qasarta mai qanqara, ta tare a Sudan mai bala'in zafi, da aka tambaye ta me ta gani a wurinsa, ta gamsu da ta canja qasarta, addininta, al'adarta, suturarta da abincinta? Da bude bakinta sai ta ce wallahi ba wani dalili katamaimai, kawai ta fahimci yana son ya kusance ta ne kuma ta ba shi qofa, duk kuwa da saninta da cewa talaka ne, kuma baqi, to tunda ta yarda, yanzu komai masoyinta yake so shi take so, haihuwa kuwa sai dai in Allah bai kawo ba.
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Na gamsu qwarai da dalilinta, don sai ta yi shekaru ba ta ko yi maganar 'yan uwanta ba, bare ta sanya wa kanta cewa wata rana za ta gudu ta bar shi, soyayya ta gaskiya ba ta kasancewa kwatsam daga mutum ya ga dan uwansa shi kenan ya mace masa, wannan dai yakan zama daya daga cikin dalilan da suke janyo hankalin mutum, amma soyayya kam a hankali ake gina ta har ta kammala, zan iya cewa kafin mutum ya kutsa cikin dausayin soyayya yana buqatar abu uku, da zarar sun kammala sai ya nemi yardar Allah, sannan yardar kansa da ta mutane, kawai ya ci gaba.

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